Thursday, February 12, 2009

Feeding The Fear

(Keep your friends close, but, not so close that they can eat out your eyes or gnaw through your skin.)

Once there was a woman
who didn't have any friends
she lived isolated and all alone
with dust bunnies and rocks, her only pets

one day she saw a little mouse
scurry across the floor
she started feeding it cheese and crackers
and pretty soon, one turned into four

the table was set for five
they had tea parties and interesting conversation
she made them all tiny little clothes
i swear, this is so not an exaggeration

But...

four turned into forty more
and before long they ruled the house
crazy to think all this madness started
with just a single solitary mouse

you see, the woman and her nagging fear
of not wanting to be alone
had encouraged them to multiply
and now they were out of control

there were far too many now,
some didn't even have a name
she was embarrassed at what a mess they made
and positively ashamed

One day, she rode into town
and bought herself a cat
a couple gallons of poison
and a few hundred traps

but these rats just sat and watched
they were far too wise
after all they had been domesticated
and completely humanized

they lured the cat away
all it took was a ball of string
they drank shot glasses of the poison
and for some reason, the traps would never spring

she knew she had no choice,
she'd kill them one by one
she ran upstairs to her bedroom
and started looking for her gun

she opened up the closet door
gasped in horror and despair
took one last ragged breath, fell to the floor
Whaddaya know...she was dead right there

now's about the time you ask yourself
what could have gotten to this woman (after all, it took a hundred mice to make her crack)
what buckled her knees in disbelief
what sight could have brought on a massive heart attack

You see, by feeding all those mice
she was in turn feeding her deepest darkest fear
the one where she was destined to be alone forever
So, can you see where this is going, my dear?

Okay, I've made you wait
and tried to hold you in suspense
but, it's time, this rhyme gets put to rest
so, I'll leave you with just this

Don't let your fears control you
you do whatever it takes
don't be like the woman, don't give in
and for goodness sakes
don't feed them cheese and crackers and cookies and cakes
but if you do,
don't be shocked and horrified (or drop dead)
when you find a closet full of snakes