Identity Crisis

I know you
you think you know me
but do you
really?
How can you be so sure?
You know
what I look like
the color of my hair
my eyes
my outside
You know
only the pieces
I let
you
see
And even those
are
a
distorted
illusion
of
a
mask
that I create
to face
the outside world
Notice
that I never
look you in the eye
the clever way
I let my hair hang
the frumpy mess
of a wardrobe
Do you know
what lies
the lies
what lies
underneath it all?
Are you brave enough
to try
and find
me?
Underneath
the skin
the scars
the outer layer
that I think is bulletproof
and shatter resistant
is where
it
all
begins
it
ends
And I hold the power
in my hands
my hands
to either
let you in
or shut you out
to make it pretty
as ugly can be
or tear it all down
and the blood
will drip
and pool on the floor
and I will
take my hands
take my fingers
and write
the answer
the answer to the question
the question
that you've been dying
to know the anwer to......
Who am I?

If I only knew.....

Blues

For a brief moment
I was there
I was laughing and happy
suspended
floating
ecstatic

I had everything
I could hear the music
Your voice, your words
so beautiful
so touching
so tragic

I was not lonely
I fit in
with this crowd
exciting
amazing
pure magic

Now that it's over
I close my eyes
trying to go back
in time
that place
that night
If I could
I would
and I promise that this time
I would hold on and grab it.

Time moved so fast
I blinked
and I'm back
in this fucked up reality of life
And I'll spend my time
waiting
hoping
and wishing
not knowing how much longer
I can stand it.

p.s. And just like that, it was over.

A Haunting Reminder

You keep me close
just to knock me down
and as I struggle
to get to my feet
You kick me in my gut
I curl up in ball
and roll over
The bottom of your shoe
on my face
I know what it tastes like
I have licked it before
Your words punch me
like the fists of a great heavyweight
Tears fill my eyes
and run down my dirty face
I vomit blood
and You are angry
that I made a mess
all over your nice, clean floor
All that remains
is a stain
that won't come clean
Not even with bleach
Take the chalk
and draw an outline of my body
I am dead
You killed me
And as I leave my body
and look at myself
I vow to never leave your side
I will be with you for eternity
You will never be able to run fast enough
or far enough to escape me
When you close your eyes,
you will see me
When you open your eyes,
you will see me
I will be in the rearview mirror
I will be in your dreams
I will be in your thoughts
I will be the person sitting across from you at the dinner table
You will hear me
I will whisper in your ear
I will be the song on the radio
I will be reason you can't sleep
I will be knot in you stomach
the lump in your throat

I will be with you....

Always.