When people stumble across my blog in search of the "real" truth, I thought it would be interesting to pose some questions. Questions that we can ask Mayo, Loveman, anons, and most importantly ourselves. I told you I analyze everything and my thoughts run deep and dark so here is what I've come up with. Step up and dare to answer if you choose. Remember you're only lying to yourself.
Can you look at yourself in the mirror without looking away?
Do you have any regrets?
Have you ever hurt anyone you cared about?
Do you lie? To yourself? To Others?
Have you ever let your mother down?
Have you ever seen your father cry?
Are you scared of something?
Do you feel lonely?
Have you ever said something you wish you could take back?
Do you use people?
Have you ever said "I Love You" and not meant it?
Have you ever helped someone do something that you knew was bad for them just so they wouldn't be lonely and you wouldn't feel alone?
Are you bitter?
Do you take life for granted?
Are you a stranger in your own house?
Do people really know you?
Have your feelings ever been hurt?
Do you feel ugly?
Are you incapable of letting others love you?
Do you think a lot?
Have you ever wanted to make it all go away?
Does your conscience make you feel dirty?
Do you think you're crazy?
Have you ever bargained with God?
Are you at war with yourself?
Would someone name you as their one true friend?
Do you feel guilty for wanting more?
Are you addicted to something?
Are you sure?
Do you wish you were someone or somewhere else?
Do you miss someone?
Can you fix the mistakes you've made?
Have people cried for you?
Have you ever left something unresolved?
Have you ever taken credit for something you didn't do?
Does your pride get in the way?
Will you let yourself be happy?
Do you hate someone?
Can you sleep peacefully?
What have you accomplished?
Do you still have dreams of your own?
Have you listened to anyone lately?
Could you save someone?
Would you try?
Could you do better?
Have you ever sold someone out?
Do you scream so loudly that you drown out the voice of reason?
Do you like living so close to the edge?
Do you think others are weak?
Do you know what you're capable of?
Do you want to throw it all away?
P.S. Devil on one shoulder...angel on the other....caught in the middle.
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23 comments:
no..yes..yes..yes
damn, truth hurts
thx for the great questions
`sc
Thanks for getting my brain fired up this morning, I was beginning to think it had died on me. :)
Excellent questions, Sdock10.
Is is a good thing to be able to answer them all?
SC and Sister Midnite, My blog was a little deep today. I do apologize for my darkness and self reflection. It might have been a bit over the top.
SC, honesty does hurt but it's a good hurt. At least I think so, don't you?
Sister Midnite, answer only the ones you want and bluff on the rest. No one will never ever know.
Or will they?
Can I look at myself in the mirror without looking away? Wait, let me get my mirror...........ummmmm, the answer to that question would be no.
It may be a dark post you have made sdock10, but it is one that many people might reflect upon. Many of those questions you have asked are questions I have asked myself time after time. Sometimes I feel as if I do not hold the answers to my own questions because some of them are not ones that holds an easy or immediate answer. I am still trying to figure myself out.
P.S. It is a great thing to be a member of the Nutbusters :)
yes sdock10,
truth is a good pain that all need to bear sometime in their life
but damn,it is hard to face the truth
now I am more realistic in dealing with people
I personally think your blog was good reminder for me
`sc
Hello, sdock10! Glad you enabled the comments!
I have been trying to read up on all this and going to all these other blogs too... What is your take on the "doctormademe" blog? Or the Love Man blog?
I swear, a few weeks ago, my daughter and I were reading Love Man's and Mayo's blogs and we started picturing that these blogs and anons were Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray, and Worm. And that they were all on different buses or different parts of the same buses with their laptops and they were communicating with each other. It really got hilarious at one point! But it sort of fit in an odd way, y'know?
Well, we had a good laugh with it anyway...
I suppose I should explain why I (the mother of a teenage daughter) am here... Basically, I like their music, so I suppose you can call me a fan... In April, we saw them in concert and were lucky enough to get in the meet and greet thing for autographs. I left there with a odd feeling... He seemed so down...
I also started to question things I saw on YouTube this summer - the outlandish remarks Gerard was saying on stage, etc. I kept feeling that something was just not right.
And then... I watched the PR concert on MySpace... That is when I knew, without a shadow of a doubt - That boy is in trouble!
I started searching on the web, but it seemed that everybody else didn't think anything of it! They all thought it was just part of the act! I was shocked!
So, anyway, I have more or less been expecting something big to happen - and I don't mean a rushed marriage. I would much rather hear that he has checked into rehab than any of the other things I'm afraid I've imagined.
So, that is why I have been lurking. I keep trying to find out what is going on.
Sorry for the long post!
I do believe that the "doctormademe" blog belongs to the one and only Kat herself
What do we know about this "Kat"?
Oh, Crap! SS is gone!
I'm getting really worried now!
Kat is the woman who was in a previous relationship with Gerard for six years before My Chemical Romance was formed.
really? bleeding chaos
I was thinking doctormademe was maybe eliza or tink??
(no proof)
`sc
Yes, really soulconnector. I have suspicions that it may be her. You might want to check out her current blog. It appears she may be on to us; if that is her I presume. Right now I am trying to steer clear of making any assumptions because they can lead to false accusations.
thx bleeding chaos,i will read all
the(no proof)in my post meant that i didnt have any proof for my thinking it was tink or eliza,not asking you to prove that it was kat
sorry if my post was messy
`sc
And who is "tink"?
Anon 51,
I've been trying to figure everything out about this band since I became a fan. There is SOMETHING special about these guys. I have always been especially drawn to Gerard. I always get the sense that he holds back the whole truth about things. Not sure if that is intentional or not. I think he has a tendancy to embellish the way things actually are. I wouldn't call him a liar, but maybe a truth stretcher. Like maybe he recounts things a little bit differently than the others. I think he has said somewhere that he always made up stories and lied a lot as a child, so maybe his behavior comes from that. He's very juvenile in some of his behavior. These are just MY OPINIONS and not a clinical diagnosis.
I too went to see them in April for the first time. Being my first time, I didn't analyze a lot of his behavior on or offstage. He tried to explain some of it by saying My Chem was performing as The Black Parade. So that's what I believed. He did seem a little down and subdued. But I figured that had a lot to do with missing Mikey. Then the Eliza stuff happened, that was crazy. He made no kind of logical sense. Engaged and unengaged in a month. Then we have the European tour...well I explained his sudden cockiness and extreme change in behavior with the breakup. He was supposed to be sober, so I couldn't blame drugs or alcohol. But it didn't add up. Then came PR...and it started off innoncently enough. The rave reviews pouring in, but again some strange behavior. I sileneced myself by saying OH this is the difference between MY CHEM and The Black Parade...OK. I went to see them again in August amidst all the growing Lyn-z rumors. But I have to say, I was mesmerized and blown away by MCR's set. Gerard was charismatic as ever and he ruled the stage. No doubt about it. But after that, the performances, comments, behavior got stranger and more off the wall. The Frank incident. And then the shotgun wedding.....now I was confused. Not to mention this is the time Loveman came out of the shadows and threw doubt on the whole thing.
Now, don't get me wrong...I hope this man has found the kind of love we all dream about. I hope it lasts forever. I hope she is his soulmate....but my doubts are there. And as far as drugs and alcohol go....strange mood swings, running hot and cold, sudden weight loss...You can draw your own conclusions about that.
Of course like I said earlier...these are MY thoughts and I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.
Tink is as mysterious as the rest of the players in this blog game.
I'm sure this is just old news to you, but I found the most beautiful 1 post blog from around Sept. 5 or 6, I think. I love it!
"Goodbye, My Old Friend"
"Wasn't it only yesterday? Didn't you just roll over and push the dog off the bed, just to get closer? Weren't we just moving the sofa? Ordering chinese? Trying to find stars in the sky in NYC? Where did we go? My senses are still raw from the sounds and the smells and the touches. The pain is still scorching like it was only yesterday, yet it was so long ago."
"I'm not sure if you ever really understood exactly what it was like. You held me and nodded like you got it but there was always that look in your eye---that one that you swore was never really there. I told myself it was my imagination because that's what you said but my heart told me differently. Maybe I just never fit in - not only to your lifestyle but to your life plans."
"I suppose I thought it was only temporary --that you needed to fly because you never really learned how. I guess I thought you wind up back home again someday with that disillusioned look in your eyes, drenched in silence, wanting nothing more than something familiar. My mistake, eh?"
"The confusion and pain are still fresh although so much has changed you and me. Watching you, uninvolved, from a distance showed me a person I was blind to face to face. Had it always been that way? Or was this someone you became from the fame you once detested? I saw a stranger instead of someone I knew every inch of. Someone untouchable, unfeeling, uncaring. I don't know that person. Maybe that's the blessing."
"I do wish you well. If this is a deeper love then I envy it. If it is escape then I understand it. But if it's just fear then you disappoint me. Because I know, and have always known, you have the strength inside you. "First believer" I still believe although you think I'm long gone."
"So Goodbye, my friend. Hold on to your heart and know I'll always be here, looking for the stars in the sky in New York City."
POSTED BY OUR LADY OF SORROWS AT 9:27 AM 26 COMMENTS
That blog is beautiful and heartbreaking. I saw it a while back and many people thought it was written by Kat. Guess we may never know.
What do we know about Kat? She was with Gerard for over six years, even though he has told Lyn Z that it was only two. (Apparently she can't read interviews or doesn't care to.) We know that Gerard left her flat, over the phone, out of the blue during the making of TBP. Some of us know that he was beginning to get back on coke around that time even though he stopped for a while again after that.
And we know that he left Kat after finding out how sick she was.
We just don't know why.
We know that she is better off without him, though.
^Also I doubt highly that blog was written by "Kat". She doesn't seem that sentimental.
Everyone can say Yes to the majority fof those.
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