I need it to survive.
To feel it flow through my body.
My heart beats faster and faster, and then I am calm.
A high like no other high in the world.
The withdrawal makes me lose my mind. If I am without it for more than a couple of days, I start going crazy. I scratch and claw at my skin. I can't stand myself.
I have it now. I am feeding my addiction. It runs through my veins. I feel it go through my body. I breathe deeply. I close my eyes. And I am there.....
Exactly where I need to be.
Transfused for another day, I have my fix.
And when it's done, I will play the song again. It's brand new each time.
I would die without it.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Life is just a metaphor.
10 comments:
Yeah, boy don't I get it. I wrote this at Mayo's yesterday, then almost erased it. It would have gotten seen anyway.
There's no cure for this. There's no way to stop it. The looks will get thrown, and they won't ever understand.
There's only a handful of people that get it and they, themselves, don't even even understand. It will always be like this. It's a two-sided coin. A habit. A dangerous habit. But, it doesn't need breaking. People just need to be more understanding.
It's different for me. My brain doesn't work like yours. Mine thinks in twos, threes, and fours. Yours is all over the place, no sense of time. No sense of count. I listen. You talk over it. You don't hear what I hear.
It's right versus left, always getting in the other's way. No peaceful and amicable understanding. They fight. It's a neverending battle. Always digging. Never just being. It never is what it is. It's more.
You will never get it.
This is a disease.
February 23, 2008 3:49 PM
Solly, I love you with all my heart. [Mustard, up there, I love you too] :)
You are my friend. And I'm very lucky to have met you.
♥ you tons.
Sdock, thanks for coming to my blog.
*blushes*
What you said was sweet, and I can't wait to post pics for you all of my beautiful niece.
*HUG* love you sweets.
xoxo
<3
Hi solly, I wasn't around yesterday. I have scanned mayos and seen what has gone down.
I can't belive that you and the rest of us at DM have been blamed for things we have not done.
Chin up sweetie.
Hi sweetie, I would never leave you.
I may have left mayos but i will still be hanging on the porch.
Love you.
I just wanted to say hello!
Seems like your poor blog wasn't getting any attention :)
See you at DM's
♥
Mustard
*Sneaks in back door*
*Nervously looks around. Doesn't see anybody awake*
*Rushes into living room, drops off carton of djarum cigs, German chocolates, tea*
*tiptoes upstairs, leaves a bouquet of waterlilies on the bedpost, ever so delicately kisses sdock on the forehead*
*Jumps, thinks he hears something downstairs. Rushes back out*
(I miss you, too)
I hope things work out for you, Sdock. I really do.
I hope that the clarity lingers for awhile. I know it only takes one misstep for the fog to come back, but here's hoping there's a clearing among all of the trees.
Goodnight and sleep well.
sdock10
We are standing right next to you
Feel our strength;You are strong
If you care to
Focus daily on all that is good and right in your life, with all the faith and passion that you hold.
One day it will overcome all that is wrong.
love to you
`sc
p.s.
Caring for a person, even when they do not deserve it, does not make anyone "stupid"
Just incredibly kind and loving.
(Standing on mother platform)
Furthermore young lady
Loving a man does not mean you have to live with him -laughs-
So the motto is
friends do not let friends say mean things about themselves.
-dont make me slap you!
feel me?
yeah, I know, but you have to respect me. I am your elder.
Yeah, because if we don't, we feel out of place in our own skin, and we will put ourselves in a situation that will bring us back full-circle.
It's a hopeless cycle.
Again and again.
Love you, Sdock. Hang tough. In this together.
Post a Comment