These are the thoughts that go through my head. Isn't that an Alanis song? Yep, it sure is. Why do you always draw flowers? I don't know. I sure wish that bitch behind you would get off the computer so I could blog. It's not your turn...it's her lunch break. Speaking of lunch, I am so fucking hungry and have a headache. Well, make up your mind what you want to eat, silly. It's an easy problem to fix. Now the bitch is coughing and not even a real cough. Just enough to be irritating, but not quite irritating enough to warrant killing her. The phone is ringing. You really should answer that. I am if you will shut up. Now, you are drawing circles. I call that regression. Why is your desk so messy? Looks like you have plenty of shit to do. I don't want to, okay? Why is your leg shaking like that? Because I'm talking to you and I don't want to talk to you right now. Why? I am working on my blog. Oooooooh, let me see. No! You will just laugh. Well, at least tell me what it's about. It's about me. Muhahah, oh well that is going to be funny as hell. See, I knew you would do that. Do what? That. Someone sure is awfully sensitive today. Don't cut your eyes at me. It just makes you look stupid. Could you just go away? Nope, I have nothing better to do. You'd better answer that phone again. Oh, why don't you let me answer it? Oh, okay this will be fun. It was a joke. I can't let you talk to people. You are no fun at all. No, that's not true. You just try to get me in trouble. Do I? It's not my fault you are so boring. I just keep things interesting. Goddamnit take that phone of the hook, so I can talk to you! I already told you that I was busy. Oh, yes, writing your new blog. I wonder how many people can't sleep waiting on that shit. You're just so fucking mean. No, I am fucking honest You don't have to say it that way, do you? No, but it gets your attention that way. Stop fucking writing on yourself! What? Are you like 12? Goddamnit, be still and focus! But, all I can hear is you! Tee-fucking-dah! Exactly! I'm the one you should be listening to. I don't know about that. Really? Indecisive much? Can't say that I'm shocked on this end. You just fucking rolled your eyes at me. No, I'm just tired. Yeah, I'd be tired of this life too, if I were you.
Hey! Wait just a fucking minute...I am you.
Now what were you saying again?
Nevermind...you never listen to me anyway.
p.s. Shut the fuck up!
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43 comments:
Do the people around you (coworkers, casual friends) know you are screwed up or do you present a sweet, pleasant front?
Nekked and running round your blog. Do you like the nipple tassles?
anon,
Surely, they must.
Or maybe they don't.
What do you think?
MissT, can I play with them?
You did not answer the second part of my question.
I talk to myself, too.
I mean, I don't carry on full conversations, but my head is my own angel, devil, and best friend.
I seriously love how you write and I'm so envious for not having that capability.
You pretty much own, Sdock.
Sometimes I do...and sometimes it's impossible to hide.
And in those times, I laugh it off.
Feel me?
I do not feel very satisfied with that answer.
I think most people know that I'm not quite right in the head if that's what you mean. I do the best I can in my day to day life to keep things under control and sometimes that means pretending a bit when things aren't okay.
Is that better?
I guess I will accept that. How many friends do you have, online excluded?
I have one person that I would really call a true best friend. He's a guy, but this person is not my boyfriend.
People that I consider my friends...a few, like at least 10 to 15.
But I'm not a real people person so that's cool.
Do you feel me now?
All I can do is offer a hug.
Because hun, I think you need one.
*shakes her sugary ass in here*
Now where did I put those fucking shades. My head hurts.
Split in two
Turn around
A million places
In the ground
Touch my heart as I go by
Is it you, or is it I?
It is us.
BTW, Sdock. I love the new color scheme. But, I have to say, I think maybe PPU will be slightly disappointed you didnt' choose to stick with the lovely violet and pink cotton candy colors ;)
I just wanted to tell you that I love you sweetie.
You know that I mean it sweetie. I love you so much.
Goddamn I even dream of you ha!
*imitates dream*
*wanders round with arms out "where is sdock?"*
Sdock,
What you left for Mayo...that was beautiful.
I really hope you find everything you're looking for in life. You deserve all of the good things and none of the bad.
Has the doctor seen you for your case of Enlarged Heart?
I'm glad to call you my friend, Sdock.
This is what you do.
Tell her you're planning a picnic. And she'll go, but I'm in your head!
To which you reply, yes, but we haven't been very nice to each other as of late, have we? So I'm going to imagine us going to have a nice, relaxing picnic.
She'll guffaw and go, where?
You'll say, on this beautiful hill overlooking the sea I thought up.
You'll both make the track up this craggy hill with a picnic basket and a blanket. Offer to set out everything yourself. Pour her the tea, make her a sandwich. Let her berate your every move as you do this. Blithely agree with her.
And as she's munching, you look out at the ocean.
"Oh, look at that!" You'll cry.
"What?" She'll say.
"Don't you see it?"
"No. What?"
"That beautiful ship! Just on the horizon. It's darling."
"I still can't see it."
"Come closer to me, look from my angle."
You start leaning over the cliff's edge. She begins to lean, too.
And just as she begins to really bitch, all it will take is a little push.
You'll have quiet for at least a few hours before she reincarnates herself.
I really hope you find everything you're looking for in life. You deserve all of the good things and none of the bad.
Mustard's quote was worth repeating.
Sdock, I would love to go on a bike ride with you. And we can be risking and not wear helmets. 'Cause we are dangerous like that. ^_^
And if you can't find your bike, you can sit on the seat while I stand and pedal. Because that's what friends do.
P.S. You better watch it later, I'm going to hunt you down and give a deep tongue kiss that you will never forget. ;)
*looks lovingly into sdock's eyes*
Do you realise how special you are sweetie?
*places loving kiss on forehead*
You're my little angel with a glowstick.
Hey.
I was only joking with you. I certainly hope you didn't really think I'm a psycho exboyfriend.
Bubba,
I didn't mean to scare you away. Of course I knew you weren't a psycho ex.
I surely do hope you'll come back and see me some time.
Us being cuzzins and all!
Sdock, I really missed seeing you around today. It felt kinda weird.
I'm going to miss your post to Mayo, too. I'm off to bed because I can't keep my eyes open.
I hope you're doing okay. I'm still just as confused as I ever was. Maybe there will be something to help sort all of this out in the coming months or years or possibly even decades.
I'm glad you're here.
Are we still good?
*yanks on rope*
Yep. Still good. :)
Goodnight Sdock.
Happy Christmas!!
Just so you know I do visit everyone's blogs...
Love,
Kass xx
Sdock,
Everything is going to be just fine, okay?
I'm thinking about you and if you need to leave me a note or if you just want to talk about what's going on, my blog's back up and running.
We'll be okay.
You seriously crack me up, kid.
You find out how to italicize and bold words, and that's all she wrote! ;)
You still have a place of employment, right? They didn't make you leave because you were internet-ing did they?
Not yet!
But there is always tomorrow...
Can I come live with you if my plans with PPU or Anima fall through? Will you take care of me forever and ever?
This is a note for my anonymous friend who is a nice shade of lavender or lilac...not really sure!
You know how one time you told be that I always know the unicorn? Well I hope you will always be able to hear my voice even when you can't see me.
*heart breaking, no longer on my toes, but on hands and knees where I am destined to stay*
You may come stay in my room in our BlogBelieve house as our rope only stretches so far.
Just knock! I'm the third door on the right once you get to the top of the landing.
I have extra blankets and pillows and we can set up some chairs and make a tent and tell stories and share thoughts and make fun of Mayo in his bath robe and...and we can just be.
PPU can even be our resident unicorn. I'll allow it to sleep in the bed so you two can snuggle 'til your heart's content :)
Goodnight Sdock. Worry about it tomorrow and take it a day at a time. It'll work out :)
Sdock, you always have a place at my home. Forever.
I just wanted to tell you that I did not get to see your pic on the Mayo Clinic blog before you took it down, but it certainly does not matter what you look like because you are a beautiful person either way.
Sdock, I miss you too. I remember when we used to talk all day long at Mayo's.
I probably won't be around tonight, but definitely Saturday.
I loved the gift you gave all of us. It is really lovely. I am really jealous of you, Kapunua, Mayo, and some of the others because I just cannot get my thoughts out like you guys can. I love everything you write. Thank you for being you.
Hope to see you soon!
Love,
Anima
Sdock sweetie, I really hope today was better for you than yesterday.
Luv Caz xxx
Thanks for the pressie!
Faith, Hope and Love right back at 'cha.
Have a very very merry christmas!
Where are you my love?
I saw your gift, thankyou so much. Your words never fail to move me. Know that you are loved.
I wish you everything possible in this world.
Love always, Gnothi x
To you know who:
I missed you today. Did you miss me? My sister said you seemed a little irritated. I'm sorry things have turned this shitty. I should have listened to you and cleaned up my filthy little mouth, but then that would've been like censored sdock10...or watered down sdock10 and I know you would never want that, now would you?
*BLEEEP* no you wouldn't!
Please don't forget about me, okay?
Come visit me here and feel free to ask me anything you want to know.
Love,
S
Whips off top to return compliment to sdock.
I love you to infinity and beyond.
Sdock,
I'm so sorry I missed you today. I guess our paths weren't destined to cross each other. Sucks, 'cause we're s'posed to be tied together and all.
I threw you a wave. I'm not sure if you saw it or not. It kinda looked like this *flails around*.
And on second thought, I probably wouldn't have made a very good conversationalist today. It was just, I dunno, bad I guess. Well, anyway. I'm gonna go. You get some rest. Sleep and dream well and maybe we'll both wake up ready for a new day.
Goodnight Sdock.
Sdock;
I've missed you these past few days. I love you very much sweetie. I'm trying to finish my poem thing for everyone for Christmas, but it isn't working out too well. I'm considering drawing/scanning something instead.
Love always;
- 007
<3
So, maybe we really are connected after all?
I'm so sorry that things are completely shitty for you right now. You know we'd do everything in our power to fix it, but we can only do so much with words, you know?
I've made a vow to myself to just get through these next 3, total ass-sucking, months and just forget about it all.
Okay, so maybe I'm joking myself. But, it made me feel better for, like, the two seconds I thought it up.
I feel like everytime I say this, I'm so fuckin' hypocritical and unable to take my own advice, but everything's gonna be okay.
Like, it will be okay, right?
I'll see you around a little later. Just hang out with the family today as much as you can. Maybe we can help to lift your spirits.
Well, I guess I'll see you later on :)
Love.
Mustard
Is the unicorn taking a break from family and thinking about you? Fuck yeah I am.
Funny...Have I been doing the same thing?
Fuck yeah I have.
Sneaky, sneaky...I almost didn't check this post.
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