I lied to you just the other day.
Did you know?
You looked me in the eye and asked me a question.
I answered and laughed.
You believed me.
Only because you have no reason to doubt me.
It wasn't even a good lie.
The illusion of truth is hidden behind deception, magnificent story telling, and straight faced lying.
Can you find it?
Do you even know what I am talking about?
Don't mind me. I'm not even talking to you.
I'm just talking to myself again.....
Or is that another lie too?
p.s. Cuts both ways, right?
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17 comments:
hey you!
enjoy your time alone to blog like crazy!!!
seriously take care ok.
You have such good words inside you... don't ever stop them from coming out.
Take care.
i won't deny it, sdock -- i worry about you sitting in that icky cave, even though i've never been inside it and don't really know what keeps you there.
but if you want to leap, then stop dreaming, stop wringing your hands, and leap off the goddamn cliff. you have friends and family enough to make sure you land on something good.
i'm not being nice, i'm not being gentle, i'm going to ask you outright, sdock my friend:
how is staying in that cave making you a good person? how is sitting there in the damp and dark anything that you were meant to be doing with your life?
come on out into the sun. take a look at the cliff, at the very least. and you know, you just might spot a path going down the side of it that you can follow. i just ran and leapt, so i don't know what's there really.
come on out, sdock. you're needed in the sun.
♥
Okay, I couldn't find what I was looking for, and they were really good words, too. I'll do my best.
I didn't know there were others out there, you, the words of the person I was looking for, me, countless people, I didn't know.
I do it to make myself feel better, to not draw attention. It's much easier to tell a lie to get yourself or another person off your back.
"How are you?"
"Do you want the shortened, ten-minute version?" vs. "I'm fine, thanks!"
It takes too much fucking time, and everybody else is okay, so why can't you be, too. "I'm great!"
Lie number one for the day.
"The smile on my face is just so you won't ask me what's the matter."
I'm full of them. And I don't even think about it anymore. A creature of habit.
And all because it's easier than having to face the truth.
I don't know how to help you, because I can't even help myself.
I do the same.
What can I say but thank you?
Your kindness overwhelms me. :)
xoxo cupcake
thanks for stopping by sdock.
you make me smile!
you are so lucky, 5 days of freedom!!
sd10, thank you for your comment, it was nice to see you visit.
i hope that you are ok hun and i am sorry that i cant do anything to help you out but remember you have a ♥ of gold (or purple wink wink) and you deserve so much more than you ever get.
you have many, many people here that care for you. (and secretly urges to be spanked hard from you)
take care hun
fim
xx
Sdock, you truly are a flower, and I love you very much for that. Don't ever change. This blog of yours tickles me sometimes, other times, I'm sitting back and nodding my head in agreement.
Anyways; I worry about you sometimes, but I know that you are a very very strong woman and that you will overcome anything you face.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we ever met face to face. I'd probably hug you, because you are the first one to comment on my blogs, and you always know what to say. I imagine us sitting down at Starbucks drinking French Vanilla Frappaccino's (sp), talking about everything. Life, love, hopes, dreams. Everything.
Anyways, I love you dearly, just know that;
- 007
<3
Isn't it weird when you can lie, with a straight face? Not even blink an eye?
I'm glad you took a walk with me in the snow.
The first time I ever saw it actually snow, I was 16. It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen. I still love it.
sdock10
Damn woman!
Your words leap off the page, grab me and give me a chill.
I miss you and hope you are taking care.
love to you
`sc
hi there,
thanks for your comment, I liked the story when I heard it first and just got the idea to post it.
have a nice day *hugs* xxx
pixie
sdock I think you are fucking amazing. Please, just believe in yourself. Believe you are fucking amazing. It is the truth.
Beautiful words as always, Sdock.
Keep writing your thoughts down, whether your talking to yourself or not. It's good to let it all out.
Wishing you well.
- Jade
xxx
sdock i saw your post to mayo last night. i know you were struggling writing that one. it brought a tear to my eye. you wrote it beautifully and i hope mayo read it i really do.
take care of yourself.
i feel where you are coming from you know that.
p.s. He and I don't hear the same music anymore.
thats exactly where i am at also.
Socky, honey, I wish I could fix this for you. I wish I COULD teach you how to be comfortable with where you're at in life.
Problem is, I don't have all the answers, either. But I seem to have found a lot more strength when I found you & the Princess. And the rest of our wonderful friends.
We can be alone, but not lonely; we can also be lonely even when we're not alone. Hell, we can be both.
Two sides of the same coin, my friend. And both can be tarnished.
I love you, all I'll lend you all the strength I have if you should ever need it. *hugz*
Well, there's one thing you can be sure of. Well, two things really.
I know you're here when I need you.
You know I'm there if you need me.
Two down. Now, about a billion to go.
It's okay, I just can't mess with this shit tonight.
I FOUND IT!!!
This what I was looking for. A few months late, but it's here now.
im always walking home head down, taking myself to pieces.
smile at the grass pushing up through the cracks in the sidewalk.
a teammate.
sometimes i look at my reflection in car windows and say "worry on your own time".
I thought maybe you could use that.
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